what happens when you think you’ve found your “wise mind” but you really don’t like what it’s telling you?

it’s been a day of hiding and helplessness. time to turn it around.

home again, home again…

spent the day at the hospital with a friend, yesterday. all is well, which is a huge relief. fell asleep past three, got up an hour later for work. now it’s time to go home for the first time in two days, to face a lonely kitten and a mountain of dishes.

sophie needs a day off.

it has given me youtube, graphjam, fml, failbook, and now this.

i have been very worked up today. i am a fairly opinionated girl, but i try not to voice my opinions unless i know that they are based on fact, and not just gut reactions. today i feel very strongly about something, and i feel that my opinion is based very solidly in reality. so i want to raise my voice.

i am outraged at prime minister harper’s decision to make the census form voluntary, instead of mandatory. i think that his decision will lead to a dearth of information that statistics canada will be able to collect. and i think that that will put us even more behind than we already are in the global race for research and development.

one argument i have heard is that the questions asked in the survey were unnecessary. “what does it matter how many bedrooms i have in my home?” well, i question those people’s abilities to distinguish between meaningful information, and meaningless noise.

imagine a woman went in to an opthalmologist, and said that she has had chronic problems with her vision. the doctor examines her and then asks her if she gets a lot of cavities, or has any joint pain? the woman says “what does my mouth have to do with my eyeballs? or my knees, and hips? you’re an eye doctor, just worry about my eyes.” the opthalmologist is thus unable to diagnose her with sicca syndrome, a disease that attacks glands in the human body that produce moisture such as tears, saliva and joint fluid. and thus, he is unable to treat her.

the reason i bring up this hypothetical situation is because we are not always aware of the relevance of information. just because we think a question is pointless, does not mean that, in the hands of a professional, its answer doesn’t contain valuable information. the data gathered by statistics canada inform thousands of studies from all different fields; from ecology to engineering to economics, and everything in between. without them we are potentially (i say potentially to try to remain unbiased, i feel that a more appropriate word might be undeniably, or perhaps irrevocably, but i am not clairvoyant, so i will refrain) crippling the abilities of our psychologists, our sociologists, our economists, our doctors (the list goes on and on) to carry out efficient research, and develope solutions to our society’s many problems.

“but these questions are an invasion of privacy,” i have heard some of you say. to this i would like to respond with a question: what is the difference between a police officer, and a guy with a gun who can just wander into your house because he feels like it? police carry guns, and if they feel that there is something dangerous or suspicious going on in your house, they can enter it without permission. the difference is that we have put our trust in them. we have given them a set of requirements that they must fulfill, and a governing body that keeps them from abusing their power. and because of this, we have given them the permission to intrude on our privacy if and when it is necessary, and in return we get protection.

prime minister harper, and minister clement have made a mistake that is going to hurt canada. but canadians like me deserve to pay the enormous price of this mistake if we don’t speak out against it, now.

if i can manage to go swim at least once a week for the next four weeks, i am going to treat myself to one of those waterproof mp3 players.

because swimming is a great, low impact way for me to get back in shape. but its monotony offers no diversion from your thoughts, which would mean at least twenty minutes to a half hour where i am left totally alone with myself. no, thank you.

the other night i watched king kong, with jessica lange and jeff bridges. at one point lange’s character, dwan (“like dawn, but i switched two letters to make it more memorable”) used the gigantic “monkey” as a blowdryer, and appeared to enjoy it. the entire movie was pretty horrifying, and yet i couldn’t look away.

excuses, excuses…

but you still love, right internet?

when we lived in gatineau, we had a really great in-ground pool. i would put on my mask, and swim down to the bottom. there, i would lie on my back looking up at the surface. the bubbles i blew would float up in rings, and i would watch them until i was so out of breath i risked passing out.

stop freaking out and crying! stop trying to zone out in front of the tv or internet! The appointment is at EIGHT THIRTY tomorrow morning and this shit HAS to get done.

wait. my doctor told me that cheerleading statements are better for you. like, more effective.

breathe in, breathe out. i know you want to cry, but you can do this; and once you do, you can forget it and breathe easier. by nine thirty tomorrow, it’ll all be finished. this too shall pass.