my grandfather is dead. i certainly will not miss him, he was not a good man. he lived much longer than he deserved.

but my father, on the other hand, i’m sure is taking it much harder than i. so i’m very sorry for him, and for his pain.

i’m stuck. my brother is stuck. my mother is stuck. my father is stuck, and he is watching his father die.

we are exhausted. we cry.

it’s hard to be optimistic in a place like this. but we try, we look at the futur like it may bring some miraculous change of fortune, of scenery. we know that we are what needs changing most of all, but that it’ll never happen under these circumstances.

not to sound like jer is the only thing on my mind these days, but it just so happens that while i was busy sleeping in till three in the afternoon and missing my class today i had a really weird dream about him. some red-eyed, soul-sucking demon woman was hunting me (she floated around killed all my make-believe dream friends or made them jump out of windows to escape her, it was damn creepy) and she tracked me down, and i had the choice between giving her my clothes (no, not the ones i was wearing) or my soul. so natrually i chose to sacrifice my clothing, and jer was the freaky telepathic emisary sent to collect it. he came back afterwards and we sat around in my living room and had a few beers