oh my god!!

i seriously am speechless. i had no idea that what elcin was teaching me actually had a name

and today i learned something new! thank you, oh thank you wikipedia, for saving me from the countless awkward pauses that were no doubt an inevitablity in the future of any human as socially inept and delayed as i!! the awkward turtle will no doubt be the solution to all my inerpersonal anxiety, hoo-raaay!

wooo, i must be really punchy, cause ten or so minutes ago i was depressed and passing out at work, chugging along through hour nine of my twelve hour shift, and now i’m bursting into bouts of short but disruptive hysterical laughter, and trying not to bother the dilberts around me…

that'll wake you up…

i work very early. very very very.

there i am, passing out at the computer, trying to get the inputing done. hawksley workman is singing a nice, soft little song in the background, something off his new album apparently:

hawksley workman: I want to make love with you/spread you so wide like the bluest of nights.
me: w-? jesus christ…
ray: hehehe, yeah.

lucky lady

things apparently very few people know about sloths:
-sloths are strong (if slow) swimmers
-sloths bite, and their bites are really bad. they have a very high rate of serious infection, because of their dirty, dirty mouths.

so james and i found a video of these people who were waving down traffic while a sloth was crossing the road at all of two inches per minute. james says, “why not just pick it up?” this is where i mention the whole biting thing to him.

the next video i found was of this chick in a boat, who comes across a sloth swimming towards some mangroves. she pulls up alongside this thing, talking to it in a happy high-pitched voice. it looks up at her, and is like, “nnnno, i gonna swim that way now…” it later cuts to her “saving” the sloth, pulling its rigid, molasses in january bum out of the water and holding it up for the camera. the sloth kinda keeps paddling in mid-air for a sec, before realizing what’s going on. at this point james is making fun of me, saying, “i though you said they bite…” right on cue, the sloth turns its head, craning its neck towards the lady’s hand. but sloths are slow, and not very flexible, so it just stares at her hand until she lifts it into the air to hang it awkwardly on a random branch. she then lets out a vapid yaaaaay and wanders off, totally oblivious.

actually, you know what, i’ll find the link. you have to see this.