i ask myself over and over, “why are you doing this to yourself?”

but i know the answer. it’s because i deserve it.

glass in my foot for the second time in four days or so.

despite the adderall, my brain is all over the place. can’t read, can write, can’t think. bad things, good things, hope and frustration; everything is spinning.

life can’t be summed up in a couple of clever phrases. there’s no golden rule to obey, and make your life simpler, happier, easier, better. life is so complex, there are so many variables that sometimes they seem infinite. but that’s what makes life interesting.

sophie, stop trying to console yourself by saying you’ll figure it out. you won’t. but that’s ok; you can still laugh, and eat, and hug your cat. you can still live.

what happens when you think you’ve found your “wise mind” but you really don’t like what it’s telling you?

it’s been a day of hiding and helplessness. time to turn it around.

home again, home again…

spent the day at the hospital with a friend, yesterday. all is well, which is a huge relief. fell asleep past three, got up an hour later for work. now it’s time to go home for the first time in two days, to face a lonely kitten and a mountain of dishes.

sophie needs a day off.