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things that are good in the life of sophie:

school is over for the summer. i am now faced with three months of unlimited potential. i’m going to read everything i can get my hands on, everything i’ve been holding off on for the last not so little while. i’m going to clean my whole house, top to bottom. i’m going to pack up my stuff and move the hell out of gatineau. i’m going to swim and run and dance and draw and play. i am going to get a job i love, working with people that i love. i am unstoppable.

my application to university has been sent. it’s out of my hands now, i refuse to worry any longer. if i don’t get accepted, i’ll just go back to heritage for another semester. i won’t (as i had been convinced of earlier) burst into a screaming sophie-ball of fire. and on the off chance that i really don’t want to go to cegep, i always have an open invitation to a life in istanbul.

i have now earned my brown belt in traditional shotokan karate. for those of you that don’t know, next is black. on average it takes two years to go from brown to black, but you can do it in a minimum of eighteen months. when i stepped up and bowed to my sensei to accept my belt, he said to me, “i want you to stick with this, you’ll have your black belt in a year and a half.” later that night the whole class stopped to watch as james (he’s a first dan black belt) and i kicked the unholy life out of each other. this was two days shy of a week ago and my bruises are still showing; but you should see the other guy…

my friends are happy, my brother is too, my lover’s a fighter and my parents are proud. my life is in my hands.

and one last thing… it’s my birthday.

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in just under two days i will be done my exams for this semester; done screwing up my grades, my health and my futur; done worrying about the loaded weapon pointed at my head…

whether i dodge this bullet, or blow my brains all over the wall, i know this will be a happy ending.