i showed up to my first lab at 8:30 in the morning.  too bad it’s actually at 4pm.

still, i’ve managed to use this spare time wisely.  not only did i send out emails to several professors regarding a research program that could award me a $1000 scholarship, but i also registered for a global health conference.

my first conference!  good thing i got some fancy new shoes this weekend.

one of the (many) symptoms of anxiety and depression is crippling indecision.  even the simplest of choices, like which cereal to buy, or which shirt to wear, can totally stymie someone with these issues.

and here i sit, faced with some pretty major decisions whose urgency is only increasing.

i will try to relax.  i will try to remember that all i can do is my best.  that “wrong” decisions may lead to hardship, but that does not necessarily mean failure.  my success is not riding on my making the right choice.  it is something that i am able to fight through adversity and bad luck to obtain.  i have done it before and i can do it again.

i will make up my mind, and trust in my ability to deal with whatever comes next.

today is the first day of my third year in nursing, and it is off to a less than auspicious start.

when picking a shirt out of the basket of “clean” laundry this morning, i found myself having to choose the one that smelled the least like mold and nastiness, as i apparently left the load in the washing machine for too long after the cycle had ended.  i think i was only moderately successful.

i then discovered, after having left the house, that both my shoes and my schoolbag have been peed on by cats.

i would have gone home to change after having picked up my parking pass, but unfortunately my parents’ subaru wouldn’t start, so a tow truck had to be called to pick it up from downtown.  i had to take the shuttle to school, and didn’t have time to go home first.

when i got to school i went to pick up my school issued bus pass, as it was now my only means of getting home (i have no change, bus tickets, or presto card on me, though i have all fucking three at home…).  unfortunately, the machine for printing the cards is broken, so they can take my picture and print it up overnight, but for today i am shit out of luck.

so here i sit, stranded and smelling of cat pee, and it is only 12:30.  i honestly can’t wait to see what the rest of the day brings.  seriously, what’s next?