i think i’m done for the day.  but then again i thought that a few hours ago, when i decided i had filled my “productive” hour/day quota and figured i’d just kick back and watch a little bit of bad tv.  i am exhausted, and yet i am still restless, and feel like there is still more that needs to get done right now.

this perpetual state of discomfort and inability to feel accomplished is not going to go away, no matter what i achieve, if i am not achieving the right things.


went to bjj a couple of days in a row, after having been away for months.  my everything hurts.  also, the fact that i have had considerable difficulties sleeping for the past couple of days hasn’t helped my body heal very well.  bleh.

but despite the pain and sleep deprivation, i’m in quite the optimistic mood.  my bio 235 midterm is set for the 22nd of february, the results of which may or may not get me into the program of my choice.  the prospect seems daunting, and thoughts of the resulting consequences are nauseating, but i’ve spent a long time in therapy learning how to deal all that stuff, and have been pretty successful at preventing self-sabotage and disaster.  i am doing pretty well.