i think i’m done for the day. but then again i thought that a few hours ago, when i decided i had filled my “productive” hour/day quota and figured i’d just kick back and watch a little bit of bad tv. i am exhausted, and yet i am still restless, and feel like there is still more that needs to get done right now.
this perpetual state of discomfort and inability to feel accomplished is not going to go away, no matter what i achieve, if i am not achieving the right things.
with such a long, long list of chores, i don’t really where to start.
a new day, with new opportunities. it’s nice to start out with a sense of optimism. i’ll let you know how it goes.
for valentine’s day this year i promise to treat you all with respect, decency, consideration, and a modicum of affection, no matter how nonreciprocal my attitudes are, for the next three hundred and sixty-six days.
just like i did last year.
little girl, i miss your beautiful face, and your beautiful laugh, and your sweet little voice. maybe i should say that to your face, huh?
went to bjj a couple of days in a row, after having been away for months. my everything hurts. also, the fact that i have had considerable difficulties sleeping for the past couple of days hasn’t helped my body heal very well. bleh.
but despite the pain and sleep deprivation, i’m in quite the optimistic mood. my bio 235 midterm is set for the 22nd of february, the results of which may or may not get me into the program of my choice. the prospect seems daunting, and thoughts of the resulting consequences are nauseating, but i’ve spent a long time in therapy learning how to deal all that stuff, and have been pretty successful at preventing self-sabotage and disaster. i am doing pretty well.
nothing like a best friend, napping in your bed as you putter around, to make you feel like everything is gonna be ok.
i think that, in the interest of preserving my health, i should no longer be allowed to play with my computer after eleven o’clock at night.
the wind outside is making a whole lot of noise. it’s lovely.
i am apparently on a eleven pm to two am, and then eight thirty am to noonish sleep schedule. uuuuuuugggggghhhh.