sitting at my computer, i see out of the corner of my eye that i’m being watched. not just watched, scrutinized. observed. my turtle has climbed up onto her big rock (something she rarely does, she likes the small one in the corner best) and is watching me sing along to bright eyes. she’s easily intrigued, her curisoity is apparent and engrossing… we spend a lot of time watching each other. she is by far the most zen inducing thing in my life right now, possibly ever.
ian david maule: teaching strange women to drive stick and drop it like it’s hot since 2007.
we salute you, ian.
my god, i’ve got so much random crap floating around my head these days. the only seconds of peace and quiet i get are those spent staring at invisible breasts and totem cats, when my brain is free to concentrate on the innundation of of cute animals the interweb has to provide.
my brain doesn’t do what i want it to. i wonder if this is because i’m undisciplined. the phrase, “just don’t think about it” seems comparable to someone telling me, “just make it rain a little bit.” the two seem about equally in my power. is this normal? i don’t think it is…
and even if it is in fact the way most people’s brains’ function, most can ignore their passing fancies and trivial obsessions long enough to get actual real world stuff done in their lives, no?
breath in…
breath out…
don’t try and explain yourself, don’t try and make it better…
just let it go.
nananana nananana BUH-JET!!!
i help my boss, he lifts the desks and i pull the cords out from arond the legs and untangle them…
trip number four to his office, and i think this one might actually be the last. still i ask, “anything else?”
“no, i think that’s it.”
“well, lemme know, i’m available for under-desk maneuvrage.”
… i really just said that, didn’t i?…
“ok, will do, no problem.” good old chris’s french language speaking mind just does not put two and two together, and i wander out of his office pink-faced, but unscathed.
please turn me on, i’m mister coffee with an automatic drip
yeah. with a large cup of coffee and a time-release adderall in my system, my brain doesn’t seem to slow or calm down too much, it just seems to keep up with itself a little better. this is good i guess, as i find myself alone in my head with myself; like a kid trapped in an empty library with a poltergeist that randomly pulls books down of the shelves and whips them at his head-piece…
my efforts to study for my upcoming midterm have been frustrated by a lack of appropriate software to match the available hardware. my efforts at any kind of creative expression have been frustrated by a lack of inspiration and talent. my efforts at communication have been frustrated by the lack of another human being with whom to converse. my efforts at jardinains have been frustrated by my complete and total lack of hand-eye coordination. le sigh.
and yet my mood remains somewhat buoyant, chemically altered to allow for the maintenance of some amount of coherence and contentedness despite the myriad of ways in which i find myself stymied. es no problemo, juan the cranky phantom librarian has thrown alot of reading in my lap anyway…
or maybe i’ll go build a boat.
it’s in the dictionary, look it up.
my eye is twitching, my heart is pounding, and i don’t know why.