so i’ve started a game of hide and seek, and you’re it. if you find me, you win a prize! where ever you go, keep an eye out for sop, and her hide and seek experiment.

of all the people out there, i expect maule and jer to have the best chance at finding me; or maybe sam, because he’ll probably actively look. but then again, who knows who i’ll fish up from the depths?

if you find me, don’t tell anyone but me! no hints, and happy hunting!

today, my iphone was stolen. i sat on the floor, looking up at ian, and asked him if i was crazy. he said, “no, but i gotta be honest, tragedy seems to wrap itself around you like a warm blanket.”

i promised myself i wouldn’t use this blog as an outlet for the often overwhelming pressure and negativity i feel. but i am so tired. the sun is setting, and the glow is so pretty and orange, and it highlights my hair and throws my shadow on the wall. i am so tired, all i can do is cry, because as beautiful as it is, it doesn’t take away the pain in my jaw, or the early mornings ahead, or the hours of homework that are quickly accumulating, or the feeling in my gut that just won’t go away: that i am homeless, and will be for a long time. and it won’t give me back my phone, which was my way of dealing with my ADD, my everything when it came to making my life organized.

so i will sit, with the warmth of the sun on my face, and cry.

the hours i spend alone in silence in the middle of the night are often the quiet before the storm.

i miss the past; but i am really looking forward to the future!

still, somtimes i really miss the past.

go check out my first post on 2dawg.com! the site is still under construction, but eventually it’ll look shiny!

yes, yes. long time no blog… so much to discuss.

happy to say that, despite the past few (slightly impaired) posts, i have yet to develop a problem with alocoholism, so all is well on that front.

also my optimism about life, the universe and everything continues to grow, as i am feeding and watering it daily. my plants should be so lucky.

i’ve made a couple of voyages down to my favorite canadian city, the most recent of which afforded me some truly quality time with both friends and family. i look forward to the near future which, though surely busy, will be fulfilling in a way i haven’t felt in a while.

my brother has a great idea for an add campaign, we are gonna see what we can do to get that off the ground.

i have made both a facebook page and a blog (both of which are still under construction) for my aunt, in an attempt to increase the amount of exposure she gets for her art. a link will be up soon! i’ll also be heading back to montreal on the 25th, to subject myself to slavery. art is a cruel mistress, but fusun’s not so bad at all.

in other blog news, the 2 dawg website is apparently up an running, although it is also still in the “tweak this, fix that” phase of things. a permanent link will be up for it soon as well.

i’m gonna be getting a membership to the darkroom at the RA center. any ottawa residents interested in some free darkroom time are welcome to get in touch with me at their convenience. i have a bunch of stuff from japan of which i want to make prints.

i am also looking at drawing, and wire sculpture, since my creative juices have been flowing nicely since the SSRIs kicked in and let quieted the panic in my brains. hooray for that!

uuuhhh, what else is there? can’t think of anything more this second, so i guess i’ll sign off and go back to work. have a happy day, internet population, i hope things are looking as bright for you as they are for this glassy eyed little girl.

love.

what more do i really need to say?

i’m drunk, but not so drunk that i can’t type anymore. so fuck you, everything else. you can take a hike.

ten minutes to eight in the morning and i am already off work.

hello interwebz. i haven’t taken my speed today, so i am not thinking in straight lines. still, i feel like saying hi.

i woke up hung over this morning. my gins and tonic last night glowed under the blacklight, and made me glow with intoxicated happiness. i was chatty and smiling. cute and bubbly, as carol’s co-worker put it. and i looked good. boy, you should have seen me. little black dress, big black boots. makeup, earrings, choker. attention to detail. the insecure little girl that wants to hide under a paper bag was still around, whispering that i had no business feeling as good as i did, or taking any pride in my appearance. but it was just a whisper, and it wasn’t loud enough to keep me from holding my head high. my hangover was gone by noon.

so, i want more. more great company. more alcohol in perfect quantities. more attention to detail, and nights out on the town. and i’ll have it.

things i’ve learned on my nights in tokyo:
-there are muscles that can be appropriately used to sit up from a position of rest and relaxation.
-there are muscles that should NEVER EVER be used to sit up from ANY position whatsoever.