taking a break from studying, i browse facebook for a few minutes.  i read statuses from friend after friend of mine, wishing all fathers, and their own in particular, a happy fathers’ day.  the ones that make me feel the worst are those that say, “miss you, wish you were still here…”

it’s too late now, and i run the risk of waking them if i call at this hour.  i didn’t forget that it was fathers’ day.  i was trying to get to a place where i could tell my father (for whom i have nothing on this holiday), that my gift to him was that i was well and truly making myself a better person, and that i might (here’s the real road block) actually succeed.  but i didn’t just want to say it, i wanted to believe it, so i put off picking up the phone.

so dad, if you read this, i’m sorry i didn’t call.  it’s not that i didn’t think about you.  i was waiting until the right moment to call you, and my time ran out.