a few minutes ago i sat here, utterly discouraged.  the past few days have been full of unpleasantness after unpleasantness, irritation after irritation, loop after loop for which i’ve been thrown.  i am worn out.  i felt totally defeated.  I felt that no matter how many inches you gain, entropy will always claw them back, and more.

but now i feel ok. 

i was studying for the exam i have to write in a couple of days, and i read about prions.  they are a kind of infected protein that is bent all funny, and when they come into contact with normal, healthy proteins, they make them bend all funny too.  they are unpleasant and scary, because they kill you and stuff, and because no one really knows much about them.  but they are also reeeeeeaaaaally interesting.

and so here’s the thing: nothing that happens to me, none of the unpleasantness or unhappiness or upset, will ever change the fact that these little mutant killer proteins exist.  and their existance alone is astounding and engaing enough for me to say to myself, “wait, this is worth it.”

someday i will make a very good nurse.