ok, who here thinks i should seriously consider permanently switching to de-caf, bearing in mind that i can barely remain conscious before 2pm without caffein, let alone function optimally for my fairly intense classes, but that right now my hands are shaking so badly i can hardly type, and i’m pretty sure that the heartattack that i feel i’m having is simply a manifestation of the anxiety i’ve incurred due to the extra-large 100% colombian i injested during stats? woo, run on sentences eff tee double-yew. but seriously, portion control is an issue i understand, cause everything in moderation and all that junk, i know. but in order to accomodate my pretty impressive tolerance to caffein, and achieve the desired effect (i.e. consciousness) small and medium just don’t seem to cut it, and i opt for the large… so, rock or hard place?
and while we’re at it, a much more personal question: i’m going to change my name. i’m not dropping the sonya, but i am going to change my last name to baser (mum’s name). so my question is, do i just drop the wolski (as was my original intention) or do i keep the wolski as a second last name? if i simply drop the wolski my dad will be pretty heart-broken, but if i keep it, i honestly feel i would be screwing with something very very personal to accomodate someone else. all of our differences aside, i love and respect my dad very much, and i don’t want anything, least of all my identity, to hurt or disrespect him. but, at the same time, what is more intimate than your own name? any takers?
Why not keep Wolski as a middle name? Can you have two middle names, especially if your mom has none.
Maybe try to make your initials something fun sounding? SWEB perhaps? Or you could go the route of just having an initial, Sonya E. W. Baser, or maybe Sonya W. Baser, just like our favorite president.
If you ever write a book S.W.E. Baser sounds distingushed and impressive.
Or you could just procrastinate a final decision. You’ve gone almost 24 years as a Wolski. Tell your dad you’ll go the next 24 years as a Baser and when your 48 you’ll decide what you name ought to be.
Just never get bigger than a medium coffee. If it’s still not working then just swallow your pride and deal. You’re factually overdosing, so it’s time to either switch to something stronger (NO!) or learn to deal with a safe amount of what you are using. Remember that every time you have extra, you fuck yourself over for having a reasonable amount later, when you’ll need the same amount for it to be effective. Also avoid slowly drinking a ton over the course of the day, as that also increases tolerance and forces you into a situation where if you are rushing you have to get all that coffee into you in a short period of time, which causes the overdoses. If you are going to drink coffee all day, get used to doing it one MUG at a time to avoid ever having more than 3 MUGS in one day (i.e. more than 1 large all day long!)
About your name I like the idea of a middle name that you psersistently spell out. It will likely mean that searching for sonya wolski will still bring you up, which is good for stalkers and old friends.